Me Llamo Bailee[:

I hate myself for this; time after time I fall for you again.  You lie to me, I forgive you.  You play me, I act like it doesn’t happen.  I finally had the balls to end it with you, but now I can’t handle it.  I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t focus worth shit.  Your words don’t match up with your actions, so all I do is sit here wondering what you’re going to decide.  You say you miss being with me, then I find out you’re dating someone else.  You tell me you still love me & shed a tear, then as I’m about to leave I notice a hickey on your neck, then another.  So why the hell do I still miss you?  I don’t understand why I can’t take it being without you, but it’s how I am.  Other people don’t get it, why I don’t pretty much hate you by now.  Maybe it’s because my best friend decided one day she just wasn’t going to talk to me anymore.  Maybe it’s because the only other guy I talk to decided to do the same thing without explanation.  So maybe it’s because I don’t have anyone else to talk to you besides you, and if i lose that one last constant aspect of my life I don’t know what will happen.  I’m losing it. 

Only 3/4 of a year left to go before I can leave.  This isn’t worth it, stressing over people.  I’ve learned that best friends are not forever; sooner or later the person who you thought would always be there finds someone else, and you get replaced.   Nobody is worth staying for- not a friend, not a boyfriend, nobody. 

It bugs me when people are unnecessarily mean. Like, you didn’t have to make that comment. You could have just kept your mouth shut and left that person not feeling bad about themselves. What do you gain from making someone else feel like shit? Nothing of substance. Maybe a fleeting moment of power but that’s gone as soon as it comes so why? There’s enough unhappiness in the world without you adding to it.

(Source: hammyandbean)

I say I’m so excited for senior year but truthfully I wish it were done & over with so I could leave; move away, forget everyone, the whole deal.